A clear out and redecorating your home means you are creating new space and new memories.As this fills the physical vacuum left by loss.You create a new story in the physical space your late spouse occupied.Yet keep value things for memory,for your children.

After a clear out there is a temporary reinforced awareness that your loved one is absent,but this feeling passes gradually as you utilise the space for other things.

My late husband worked from home so he had an office area which after the clear out was ominously empty and silent.So l decided to redecorate the whole of my lounge which his office formed a part of.Picking warm and specific colours that created the space into a continuum not into petitions as previously designed.This immediately removed the feeling of the office not being used.

I also redecorated the whole house – this you find easier to do when you feel much stronger,perhaps after a year of loss.This makes your home fresh/new and this breathes an atmosphere of new beginnings.Your memories are still there but this allows you to see that you can make new memories.

You should start accepting invites to socialise in small circles again.

Perhaps for one to one meals with close and good friends,to family events – this allows you to start breathing again.Breathing means being free from being smothered by loss and all the baggage it brings.

When you start reconnecting with friends you start to hear yourself laugh and smile,this makes you feel that you can begin to hope again.

Being away from the crowd will still bring moments of sadness- this is part of the grieving process, this will pass with time.People grieve in different ways and at different lengths, l can reassure you this will pass.

Signing off now,let me reassure you there is hope after loss.


Published by yemi278

I loss my husband over 8 years ago. I am a mother of two daughters. I have worked for over 20 years in Mental Health - empowering and giving holistic support to adults with long term Mental health challenges. I have seen through my work human beings have the ability and inner strength to survive any form of loss with the right support from family, friends and community.

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