To survive from the deepest grief there must come from your inner core an expressed desire termed the conscious intent.

The intent to live a life, a different life from the one you had with your late husband must come from you. If not, you will find many reasons for not wanting to wake up in the morning or not see a reason to continue living.

In the previous blog the focus was on setting a daily routine in small steps. By 3 month -6 months this should be hard clad and working at least to a schedule of twice to three times a week.

The next thing now is to start focusing on self, look at yourself and examine what you want and how to get what you want for your future. This will have to start with defining who you were before when your Spouse was with you, and who you want to be in the future.

Start with your perspective of self – how real have I been to myself in the past, and how real can I be in my future. The question is what do I really want, what makes me really thrive in my life and what are my likes and dislikes.

Refining and reevaluating your potential to earn financial value for your skills becomes more important as the sole bread winner for your home.

Open your mind to other ways of making other streams of income that doesn’t have to be a 9-5 job.Perhaps earning from home,maximising automation = technology/your computer.If you are not in the know acquire a new skill as mentioned.

Make a list of skills you have,pick each one and how to modify them.E.g. I had to examine the work I was doing at the time my late husband died, looking closely at my role and honestly pick from the varying segments of what I really enjoyed.

After doing this I decided to enhance my skills in that area by study, self development, refreshing current skills and exploring alternative avenues of expressing it away from my paid job.

So, if it’s talking to people or counselling people,that you enjoy perhaps start in your local community by setting up an on line coffee chat using many of the free on line packages.

Or set a group up of like-minded people recovering from grief in your Church or local club on line. With the Covid 9 lock down around the world you can create on line content on your specialist areas e.g. Art, engaging older people, fitness etc

This is not always easy – as you will be stepping out into the new and this is where you must be strong and courageous. You have to draw from your inner strength that is what has enabled you to survive adversity to date.

From this self realisation should come a certain amount of hope – a feeling of having nothing much to lose but to gain.

Immediately you step to discuss your intentions with another person it starts to come alive and real.

I was fortunate to be able to return to a Group I had started before my late husband passed. Though it was not completely spiritually relevant to my current situation , it gave me a focus and time to pass the baton and closure, plus confidence to explore another venture in which to help people.

A hobby can soon turn into a stream of income by refining your skill and making it current to your market audience.

The giving of your time to something you love, to fill others and this gradually heals the hollowness of loss.

Signing off now – there is always hope after loss.


Published by yemi278

I loss my husband over 8 years ago. I am a mother of two daughters. I have worked for over 20 years in Mental Health - empowering and giving holistic support to adults with long term Mental health challenges. I have seen through my work human beings have the ability and inner strength to survive any form of loss with the right support from family, friends and community.

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