What do you really feel inside?

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Most people say I want change but say it with their lips but it does not resonate with their souls. You may look beautiful and physically fit on the outside, yet your soul may be broken and spirit empty.

If your physic (external appearance) is strong but your soul and spirit is weak your physic may not always be strong enough to resist the seducer who comes only to deceive.

 To generate successful change, we have to be holistically whole. This means being whole in mind, body and soul. Do you believe in a creator or God who made you with his DNA? If you do our brokenness and wounds are healed completely from this source alone. So, does your absolute wholeness come from this.

Widow, widower or the bereft, after two or three years of grief you have to exercise your will over your flesh to consciously and courageously decide to start thinking of finding your way out of the pain to redefine what you want for your future. You can still be grieving yet still decide in your will first, then your actions what you want for your future.

Where there are no vision people perish Hosea. 4:6(ESV). If you do not envisage change in your mind, this means you may remain stuck in your past for years, in a drought, with no visible growth and no gradual healing. The longer you stay in it the harder it is to make that leap.

The way to do this practically and effectively will be to get a friend or use a Coach to draw out of you what direction you would like your future to go. Performing growth exercises by a Coach will gradually get you to your desired goal. 

Coaching is the act of being directed on how to draw out your strengths to rebuild and engineer your desired goal. Find one you connect with and decide to do the work with that individual – you will start to enjoy it when you commit to it. Engage one who applies timeless principles from a biblical lens as a point of reference. Change is normally permanent from this framework when you commit whole heartedly.

 We need to get help especially when we find ourselves at the cross roads of life and cannot direct the cause ourselves. It is not about saving face and keeping up external appearances.

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When emotionally vulnerable we sometimes disguise this in presenting a more than perfect external appearance. This makes us prey to those who say they love you but have ulterior motives. We are more vulnerable to these lies when we are emotionally empty but need this hollowness to be filled by another. 

While if you adopt a plan of action and seek good people to assist you to implement this, you gradually grow stronger emotionally. The additional bonus of working with another person propels you to succeed as we are born to connect naturally with another human being.

The world places too much of an emphasis on outward appearance and less or nothing on the inside. The strength of our inner Soul and Spirit impacts on how we navigate our world and succeed in it.

When seeking to move forward in life, may it be dating, marriage, business or a general lifestyle change, the stronger you build your spirit the more defined do your spiritual qualities become, the higher the chances of success.

Very often I hear of women being scammed on line by evil suitors promising heaven and earth, and how we easily succumb to such false promises, even giving away our hard-earned cash. The more seasoned your spirit and soul are the more in tuned you will be to identify evil prey

 In believing in a creator or God makes you know so well that no individual can meet all your needs. Lacking faith in a creator makes your soul and spirit quite weak and vulnerable.

Only God can fill completely that gaping hole you are looking for another individual to fill. Rogues can spot your emotional vulnerability from miles away and exploit it.

The spirit to decern good from evil is acquired by developing a faith in a true and real God that develops your soul and spirit. 

The lord looks at the inside of man not on outward appearance. This needs to be applied to self and when deciding on who to date. The average looking guy with strong spiritual qualities may be the one to prefer than the handsome, wavy and slick haired male with an enticing tongue but no spiritual qualities.

The world is quick to convince us of it being fine to wallow for years in grief and stagnation while they are moving on successfully with their lives.

 The secret is to find solutions and help in navigating the immense hiccups of life. What makes life much easier is being aligned to the creator of our universe =God who enables you to make all things beautiful in time.

*Your Soul can be wounded when your emotions have been impacted by loss, disappointment, childhood challenges, mental ill health, relationship breakdown, financial loss, natural disasters, economic misplacement, sexual exploitation and extreme poverty to name a few. The scars left by these need healing, recovery and restoring. 

‘With his stripes we are healed’ Isaiah 53:5b

To learn more about my journey read my other pieces on this Blog.

For further information go to my webpage at:

 Find me at businessandmarriagecoaching.co.uk


Published by yemi278

I loss my husband over 8 years ago. I am a mother of two daughters. I have worked for over 20 years in Mental Health - empowering and giving holistic support to adults with long term Mental health challenges. I have seen through my work human beings have the ability and inner strength to survive any form of loss with the right support from family, friends and community.

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