What do you really feel inside?

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Most people say I want change but say it with their lips but it does not resonate with their souls. You may look beautiful and physically fit on the outside, yet your soul may be broken and spirit empty.

If your physic (external appearance) is strong but your soul and spirit is weak your physic may not always be strong enough to resist the seducer who comes only to deceive.

 To generate successful change, we have to be holistically whole. This means being whole in mind, body and soul. Do you believe in a creator or God who made you with his DNA? If you do our brokenness and wounds are healed completely from this source alone. So, does your absolute wholeness come from this.

Widow, widower or the bereft, after two or three years of grief you have to exercise your will over your flesh to consciously and courageously decide to start thinking of finding your way out of the pain to redefine what you want for your future. You can still be grieving yet still decide in your will first, then your actions what you want for your future.

Where there are no vision people perish Hosea. 4:6(ESV). If you do not envisage change in your mind, this means you may remain stuck in your past for years, in a drought, with no visible growth and no gradual healing. The longer you stay in it the harder it is to make that leap.

The way to do this practically and effectively will be to get a friend or use a Coach to draw out of you what direction you would like your future to go. Performing growth exercises by a Coach will gradually get you to your desired goal. 

Coaching is the act of being directed on how to draw out your strengths to rebuild and engineer your desired goal. Find one you connect with and decide to do the work with that individual – you will start to enjoy it when you commit to it. Engage one who applies timeless principles from a biblical lens as a point of reference. Change is normally permanent from this framework when you commit whole heartedly.

 We need to get help especially when we find ourselves at the cross roads of life and cannot direct the cause ourselves. It is not about saving face and keeping up external appearances.

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When emotionally vulnerable we sometimes disguise this in presenting a more than perfect external appearance. This makes us prey to those who say they love you but have ulterior motives. We are more vulnerable to these lies when we are emotionally empty but need this hollowness to be filled by another. 

While if you adopt a plan of action and seek good people to assist you to implement this, you gradually grow stronger emotionally. The additional bonus of working with another person propels you to succeed as we are born to connect naturally with another human being.

The world places too much of an emphasis on outward appearance and less or nothing on the inside. The strength of our inner Soul and Spirit impacts on how we navigate our world and succeed in it.

When seeking to move forward in life, may it be dating, marriage, business or a general lifestyle change, the stronger you build your spirit the more defined do your spiritual qualities become, the higher the chances of success.

Very often I hear of women being scammed on line by evil suitors promising heaven and earth, and how we easily succumb to such false promises, even giving away our hard-earned cash. The more seasoned your spirit and soul are the more in tuned you will be to identify evil prey

 In believing in a creator or God makes you know so well that no individual can meet all your needs. Lacking faith in a creator makes your soul and spirit quite weak and vulnerable.

Only God can fill completely that gaping hole you are looking for another individual to fill. Rogues can spot your emotional vulnerability from miles away and exploit it.

The spirit to decern good from evil is acquired by developing a faith in a true and real God that develops your soul and spirit. 

The lord looks at the inside of man not on outward appearance. This needs to be applied to self and when deciding on who to date. The average looking guy with strong spiritual qualities may be the one to prefer than the handsome, wavy and slick haired male with an enticing tongue but no spiritual qualities.

The world is quick to convince us of it being fine to wallow for years in grief and stagnation while they are moving on successfully with their lives.

 The secret is to find solutions and help in navigating the immense hiccups of life. What makes life much easier is being aligned to the creator of our universe =God who enables you to make all things beautiful in time.

*Your Soul can be wounded when your emotions have been impacted by loss, disappointment, childhood challenges, mental ill health, relationship breakdown, financial loss, natural disasters, economic misplacement, sexual exploitation and extreme poverty to name a few. The scars left by these need healing, recovery and restoring. 

‘With his stripes we are healed’ Isaiah 53:5b

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 Find me at businessandmarriagecoaching.co.uk


Do you wonder what others around you might say if you step out to engineer change? How do you combat the voice that convinces you of being fine just the way you are? Are you tied to fear, guarding self-image and living in an unconscious tirade of self-deception? Or do you not know where to begin a change? What can be the worst that can happen?

When we want to engineer change there is an inner voice that tries to convince you of being alright where and how you are. The mind then becomes afraid to move past these thoughts. So, your physical body wants to move but your mind is unconsciously telling it to stay where there is comfort.

The worst deterrent to our success to change is self-deception. Because you have stayed in Egypt so long you convince yourself that you are doing well. You have been on your own so long that you start to convince yourself that you are fine and you do not need someone to share your life with. Convinced your children and grandchildren fill you enough.

Are you middle aged, single, divorced or widowed and have been out of a relationship for Years? My question to you is What do you do when children grow up and move away? Or   your grandchildren grow or decide to live across the other side of the world? Or you are now working less restricted hours, self-employed, friends have moved on as they do and you have all this extra time to fill.

Do you have an underlying fear of uncertainty of what you will do with all this free time, with no one to share your life with? We live very long life’s now – hopefully with better healthcare and more disposable income. Who do you share your life with?

The reverse could be you are just hitting 28/30 years of age, your career is at its peak. You are just finally realising that life would be better with someone special to share it with. That voice convinces you that you are fine and do not want a companion to upset the applecart. You deceive yourself with these thoughts because of a past bad experience of dating someone.

Perhaps you are now in a better place to define who you are and what you expect in a future partner/spouse and also can afford a coach to guide you away from the pitfalls.

It only takes talking to someone neutral and with a fresh perspective to get you thinking and changing your perception of personal relationship. From the creation of humanity, we are made to thrive in relationships – family, friends and with a soulmate. So, we always have a conscious or unconscious gaping hole emotionally when our relationship needs are not met or not fulfilling.

After 20 weeks or so of the lockdown and easing of it in the UK it has been a time when we are forced to take a personal look at our life’s holistically at things that have never worked and need changing and things that can improve. So, if you are ready and courageous open yourself to a new personal connection now. When there is a desire the next thing is to act on it.

For a 15min chat talk to me at businessandmarriagecoaching.co.uk

we save you a lot of time and guide you in how to use timeless principles to accomplish your success.

For further practical insight check out my blog at how-to-find-a-soulmate.com

Courage enables you to overcome pending fear of making that change.  The greatest story we can ever give is when we move from a restricted life to one of victory.        



Some level of courage is required when you decide to make a change.  The tendency is to stay in a comfort zone. Self-preparation to meet someone new and actually stepping out to look requires courage. An 100% of this will increase your leverage by miles.

100% allows you to cast your vision of change and growth wider a field than within your immediate circle.

Be strong and courageous is the phrase God used continuously to encourage Joshua in the Bible when he is given the baton of leadership. Courage is the ability to do something that one is afraid to do.

It is an inner super strength we all have to draw on when faced with situations that appear unimaginable for time and change.

You have to take the lead in most decisions of personal change and growth. It is one of the spiritual qualities you have to hone to make changes in life.

It ignores that voice that tries to tell you that you cannot do what you are trying to do.

It engineers you to stay on track in spite of how challenging your road may be, until you can measure the strides made.

It propels you to step forward.

Courage is what you need to make that decision to stop being alone. To explore ways of how to meet and interact with other people to make that connection. It is not easy but the amount of courage you summon will make it less difficult.

The decision for example to go to register on a dating site takes courage. To go to that social to interact and explore the possibilities of companionship potentials takes courage.

To say I want to explore getting some form of help to build my courage muscle also takes courage. Waving to an absolute stranger on a dating site takes courage.

The more we step out of our comfort zones the more we test our courage level and at the same time strengthen it.

We all have some level of courage in us. The parameter of your courage grows gradually until it is 100%. This will give you an unfair advantage for any decision of acting change.

So, draw from the level of courage you have today to change that situation that is twisting you in knots’. e.g. loneliness. Do you need some help with a current relationship that constantly challenges you? Or you are ready to date again but do not know how? We are never too old to start again.

When you do find your soulmate, you will find:

‘Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,

While loving someone deeply gives you courage. ‘By ©anasrose

You find your courage and gain more from the power of two.

Do not accept being alone for years if it is not where you really want to be!!

Learn more from our coaching on Timeless principles on how to hone your spiritual qualities and much more. A free 15 minute chat might be just the incentive you need! Tap here: Businessandmarriagecoaching.co.uk

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When you have found that special one – you keep communicating!

To find a soulmate is a blessing that is immeasurable

It makes you hope better and smile longer

It strengthens your decisions

Grants you a new reason to rise in the morning

An increased Optimism

A refreshed Joy.

It gives you something to work harder for

And something to set further goals for

To reach higher for.

So, what is keeping you from reaching to look for that Soulmate you long for?

One intentional decision is all it takes

Rise up and check self on what to change and refine

Start today and do not delay

That Soulmate is waiting for you.

 Open yourself to this today.

Do not listen to any other voice that says you are fine just as you are.

It is a lie that wants to convince you to stay in fear and not cross over into victory.

Well done you have started now and so keep that mind open.

May you find Joy when you start this phenomenal move.

Join the conversation – if you need Coaching to prepare for this move leave your questions below. Please share. Thank you!

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I have pondered and meditated on the incident of the 25th May re the loss of George Floyd in the USA, and the momentum of the Black Lives Matter movement. My spirit and mind wrestled with the shock horror of another son dying! Emotionally and physically rattled yet again as another black family is left fatherless and widowed and a mother, sisters, brothers and communities are crying out again at such a senseless loss.

I have seen this played out again and again for over 40 years from the penal system to immigration of many western countries. I say today that as a society I declare that all Lives matter in the sight of our Creator and so it is very unfortunate that the Black Lives Matters in the 21st century has to remind the world that the life of the Black man has to be acknowledged as worthy at every level of humanity.

Before I go any further, I must salute the Black race as one that continues to survive and grow stronger in spite of slavery, colonism, imperialism, oppression, police brutality, loss of lives, education’s exclusion of black boys, unemployment disparities to name a few, yet we rise and grow stronger.

We have made significant strides in all levels of society in the Western World. From being President, magnificent Surgeons, Consultants, Doctors, Nurses, Engineers, Journalists, Entrepreneurs, Nurses, Builders, teachers, creatives and Sport professionals too numerous to recount.

We hear in the United Kingdom due to the cruel ravages of the current pandemic of Covid 19 the lives of many black professional and health workers that have worked on the front line have lost their lives. This raises questions of why teams were not equipped with sufficient Personal Protection Apparatus during the treatment of extremely sick patients. So many unanswered questions on Race in this instance too. Why is there a larger number of black people dying from Covid 19 in comparison to other communities?

It is not always about wanting cheap or token handouts from mainstream it’s about acknowledging and treating the black race as equal to every other man or woman created by God.

So, I ask myself how has the Black Race been able to survive this far? I believe it’s due to a possession of strong spiritual gifts as Courage, grit, optimism, self-control, self-discipline and creativity. The physical siege the black man faces in the west can only be countered by the power and strength of God which is Spiritual.Unparallell to any other.

Practically we know that to move forward in restoring the general view that Black Lives Matter the history of Positive contributions black men and women have made throughout history should be celebrated and incorporated into all parts of the Western education system from Primary School to higher education. Black historical dialogues should be entered into on the history that educates communities on the identity and prominence of the man of colour pre slavery, during colonialism and imperialism. 

An education system that incorporates in its curriculum positive Black education on race, being taught as soon as children attend school. Just as we learn of the Normandy invasion so should the triangular slave trade be taught. With this in place hopefully no one of the next generation in England will turn around and say to a black child or man that is born and bred in the West, should return to their country if they do not like it here.

Secondly the black community has made huge strides in developed nations of the world but in the United Kingdom we need to make greater strides. As economic power means political power, a greater voice at the decision makers table. Not just accepting the crumbs at the floor of the masters table so to speak figuratively.

For all those black precious lives loss I say rest in peace. I pray that life’s loss shall not be in vain. For those families bereft and left confused and in tumult turn those emotions positively into practically engineering change in communities in self-perception,

refuting self-prophecy, denigration, disrespect, gaining knowledge, development in education and making greater strides to claim that our children’s world is an oyster, to pursue achievement and success anywhere in the world. Automation has brought the world closer to us and so therefore the greater impact any human story can have like Black Life Matters.

You ask how does this apply to walking out of widowhood. It applies in the sense that race when denigrated and made to feel worthless is like a daily loss of identity and death. You are made to grieve each day if not careful, however a walking out of such effects of damaged perceptions requires searching in ourselves to fight to survive using spiritual qualities as mentioned and turning negatives into positives.

If one is to make a list of all black people that have died pre-Colonialism and post imperialism one would be overwhelmed and give up trying to survive and win.

For those who have experienced any form of loss I pray your loved one’s rest in peace and you are comforted on every side. If you have recently been widowed feel free to share or comment on my Blog. Feedback enriches a writer’s content and resolve.

Signing of now! There is always hope after loss!