DRAWING ON STRENGTH (PT 2)

The strength l gained from taking time out to pray and meditate on the word of Scripture,equipped me with an inner resilience that l could not have fathomed.

Arranging the funeral involved negotiating with people with ease and on the day of the funeral l had prepared a personal tribute to my late husband which l found the emotional strength to read by myself.This enabled me to start my initial stage of finding closure.

The next thing l did and still do is to strengthen my physical body.A loss of a spouse immediately reduces your finances into half.Also does havoc on your physical strength and body.

So l decided to plan my meals better and also prepare and cook meals from scratch (closest) to their natural form and reduce drastically takeaway meals.This requires discipline and managing family time better.

I wrote my menu and then knew what to buy.This has saved me a lot of money and l have seen my body transform into a fitter and trimmer version of self.Also l feel much lighter,able to do more in my day and react more positively when confronted with daily stress.

When you find yourself alone it is almost tempting to find easier ways to get through the day e.g. order an evening take away, hide away by sleeping longer,or working longer hours to avoid the pain you are going through.I find it is best to deal with the challenges in small chunks,if not it has an adverse effect sometime in the future.

Improving my food intake and making more meals has meant l always have something for my lunch hour at work and save money by doing this.Open markets l find are best places to get a variety of vegetables and ideas of what to add to your menu.Before you know it you become a connoisseur of your local community.There is always a silver lining in every adversity- it is very difficult to see this when it first happens.

I also incorporated a daily get out of the house clause to go walking in the first two years of my loss.This puts you in touch with nature,you can pray or get clarity on your mixed feelings.Such as fear,doubt, uncertainty and a directional future. You get clarity in your thoughts and also get fitter.

I read the prayer of Psalms from the Bible at night, as the night time can be your greatest challenge.You are left alone with your thoughts.

Signing off now,feel free to ask questions or comment – remember there is always Hope after loss.

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DRAWING ON STRENGTH (PT 1)

I have worked and empowered many in the field of Mental Health for over 20 years.I did not know at the start of my loss this will be an invaluable resource to draw on.The knowledge / information l gave support groups to facilitate ,equip,empower and others became my source of reference.

I recalled that the first thing to do when your body goes into any form of shock is to find ways to nourish, maintain your health and body.l would need it at its peak, both physically and mentally to perform and manage the present and the future.

For Mental strength l drew solely on my faith,literally calling out to my Heavenly God/Creator to equip and empower me to stand.Some will define it as the spirit in them,that enables you to survive any trial.

I prayed for 7 days and after l felt my inner soul was equipped to face laying my late husband to rest.Praying for me meant reading the words in the Bible and repeating words from it that affirmed me and shifted my fears and doubts.I also fasted in this period – only able to from 12 midnight to 12noon,drinking just water and fruits.Some will call this a detox.

I am signing off now join me next time to learn how we are able to hope and love in spite of the most difficult loss.

THE CHANGE

My late husband passed away on Boxing Day 2013.It started as a normal day.We had lunch and we were winding down for the day.A sudden thump on the floor,looked and it was my late husband on the floor,in cardiac arrest.

I held a first Aid Certificate for work for over 15 years never used my CPR skills until then. I just went into auto pilot and administered it on him.While someone else called for an ambulance.The ambulance seemed to take hours,apparently the response was within twenty minutes. Unfortunately as we now know he did not make it.When the news broke l cried uncontrollably – l was devastated.

So began my journey of widowhood.At that moment all seemed hopeless but l am still here stronger and more empowered to share my journey on my highs and lows,to give my tips on how to survive.Until next time keep your hope alive. There is always Hope after loss.

THE 6TH ANNIVERSARY.

26th December 2019

It has been 6 years since I was widowed, and I feel stronger than ever before. This is the first anniversary I do not feel too nostalgic or sorrowful. I still miss my late husband but I have achieved so much in the last 6 years, that has redefined who I am  as a woman.And that I have survived the most gruelling period,the first  year of widowhood.

The aim of my blog is to inform and share how to survive widowhood especially in the first three years.Plus how to gradually gain strength to redefine the new you. I have always enjoyed writing since I was a younger woman.I have enhanced this skill since my loss. It has been an expressive tool, enabling a therapeutic emotional release and strengthening a natural flare I have.     

I have learnt from this loss that you can survive widowhood no matter how bleak it looks when it   happens.On hindsight I drew from inner strength I did not know I had. My driving force was also my children, as I felt my survival will enable me to be strong enough to assist them survive the loss of their father.  

If you would like some tips on how to survive widowhood, follow me on this journey.

Signing off now, until next time!

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MY FIRST BLOG

Life is filled with so much unpredictability – a journey of straight roads,bumps,hills and valleys.We never know where the next crossroad will take us. The sound grounding in my Judeo – Christian faith has enabled me to hold on steadily in spite of it all.

The purpose of writing this blog is to give survival tips just in case you or someone you know might be faced with the loss of a spouse.

I am hoping you will learn how to fight for self and those who depend on you to get back up again. We either swim or drown when faced with Loss. It might sound harsh, life is about the survival of the fittest. Just taking one day at a time is basically your starting point.